Journey

Mental health is a taboo within Junior’s family and his culture. Growing up in Africa Junior was always told that men have to be strong.

Junior didn’t anticipate he would struggle with mental health. He was and still is a person that many see as a popular guy. He has many acquaintances but not many friends. Growing up, football was a huge part of his life in the UK. He grew up away from his family from the age of 15, couch surfing to get by. This took a huge toll on him mentally. He became close with his football coach who did a lot for him, getting Junior his football boots to play. He was his top goal scorer for years and his coach even asked Junior to live with him. His coach was always close with his players, but one night, although Junior did not drink at that time, became a blur to him. Junior remembers flashbacks from the night, waking up and falling back to sleep but has no recollection beyond that. A few years later Junior was questioned by the police regarding that specific night; they believed something had happened as others had raised it with them.

The coach pleaded guilty to abusing young children and is now serving 7 years in prison.

When Junior turned 18, his grandmother passed away. She had been a huge part of his life, but he had left Congo at the age of 10 and not seen her for 8 years. They had always been very close and when he learned she had passed Junior felt deep loneliness. He felt like a part of him was gone. One evening he spiralled, feeling alone and seeing no way out of his situation of not having anywhere to go, so Junior took over 30 tablets and was found on the floor by a close friend and hospitalised for 3 days.

Junior managed to get myself back on track and was doing really well. He was training hard for football and work was great. He was running major concerts in the north east of the UK and eventually started to invest his own money into concerts alongside other investors. They had sold out an event which was set to be a great show, but the artist did not attend and kept the money. They had over 1000 people at the venue waiting for the artist who had gone AWOL and didn’t have the finances to repay the tickets. Junior was in such a low place mentally, carrying so much pressure that he hit rock bottom; he walked out of the venue to the nearest shop and purchased paracetamol, then he walked to a nearby fountain and bursting out crying took the tablets. Until today he has no idea how he managed to wake up.

A few months ago Junior lost his job due to the pandemic and came under a lot of pressure because he had just moved to London. During the first lockdown his finances started to vanish and he wasn’t able to find new employment; he kept receiving rejections and couldn’t see beyond the issue of being out of a job. This took a toll on Junior and also affected his relationship, feeling he was letting his girlfriend down which led to many arguments. He would get angry for no reason and now sees that most of it was in his head, thinking that she saw him differently and no longer as the provider.

After an argument he left the house and kept walking until he found himself by Tower Bridge. In tears, he felt lost and thought that the world doesn’t need him, and that he is just a waste of space and time. He was fighting against his own thoughts. He explained to the doctors that it was a good vs. bad fight in his head; the bad was telling him that he is not needed and to jump. It took every strength in him to call in 999 and get help. He was taken to hospital and then referred to the home treatment team. Through weekly therapy Junior now feels that things are improving.